How do you find motivation when you feel depressed?
- on 09.26.08
- motivation
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I see a therapist that doest go deep, i have no phyciatrist (been to a few bad ones) I stay at home w three kids while husband is in iraq, I have no friends locally, nor family. I have NO motivation to deal with life.
BEEN THERE!!! My husband was in Iraq for 9 months. I have 3 kids at home with me and had just moved back home after he left. I didnt have the military community helping me but I assume you are still in the military town. Please remember that your kids need you and your husband certainly needs you. He needs you to stay strong until he gets back. Your kids need you to be positive at ALL times. My kids saw me cry many times, however, they saw me laugh many more. You have to remember that he IS coming back. Volunteer somewhere while the kids are at school. If they arent at school, find a place that offers a "mommy's day out" several days a week and use it! Hit the gym. When you're there you can punch a bag until you get out all of your frustration. Volunteer at your local mission feeding the homeless. Sounds unappealing, I know, but believe it or not, you WILL get alot out of it. Your life sucks. I get it. But it doesnt have to. Apply for a part-time job. Go to military functions and MEET PEOPLE! There are thousands of women out there who feel like you do. You arent alone! There are many many things you can do to get motivated. Your husband has enough to worry about over there. He doesnt need to be worrying about you and how you are. He needs to know that you are ok and the kids are ok. He needs to know that you love him and cant wait until he gets home, but in the meantime, you're FINE. Good luck! Email me if you need someone to talk to, vent to, cry to, etc. I'll be thinking about ya!
you need a buddy to encourage you. try to get out hire a sitter and go have some you time. cheer up
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just think how your kids would survive without you
it may be tough, but it is bound to get better
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Hey think of those 3 children you are looking after.
depression gets us down,I have 3Teenagers, im only 38yrs,and suffered depression heaps,but its your children you have to be strong for they dont wont to loose you(their Mother)Seek medical help go to your Dr tell him how your feeling and change Phyciatrists,as you need to feel comfortable with them.
Goodluck keep strong for your children
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HAVE A HAPPY DAY
live every day like it is the best before you know it you will be asking how you got so happy so fast.
every day when you wake up just tell your self HAVE A HAPPY DAY. and befor you know it you will be having a happy day.
fell better.
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wow you have your hands full.My therapist told me to do 10 minutes at a time. If that was all I could do than I did something for 10 minutes. If I can do more than 10 minutes than to go for. Never say 'I can't do anything'. If you got out of bed and got dressed in clean clothes you just did 2 things.Do the best you can .This is just a bump in the road and it will eventually pass.God bles you and keep your husband safe.
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I AM NOT TRYING TO PREACH, BUT LOOK TO GOD
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Find a church that you like and start going. There will be things for the kids and you can meet other people that might help you. God Bless
Things will get better for you. I will pray for you now.
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Emotions are like a car – they go where the behavior (the back wheels) steer them.
Depressed people wait for motivation, when it is action that creates motivation.
Set your goals small. Like – take a walk down the block. If you don't have the energy to make yourself presentable by bathing, dressing, then make those your goal for the first day. Your goal can be as small as getting on your shoes and getting to the front yard – if you're not doing that already, that's a step forward.
It sounds like you might be helped by getting the Doc to prescribe anti-depressants. Cymbalta is new, fast working, has few side-effects.
If you are so far depressed that your kids don't motivate you to deal with life, I think meds might be the place to start. I mean, look at them!!! Kids suffer so much when mom is depressed. Even if that doesn't motivate you, pretend it motivates you and get an appt right away for meds.
Start acting AS IF you cared, and you will.
Also, try the flylady.net
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First give yourself permission to feel bad that you're alone right now. Therapists take alot of time to get to know you before they can help. I would try going to the library, perhaps volunteering at your children's school if that's possible, and be accept every invitation you might get to meet with other moms or soldier's wives. It's harder to make friends when you get older, but the only way to get out of the hole you feel yourself in is to get up and out the door as much as possible. And welcome new friendships, even though they may be different from you. Also invite your friends and family to come visit you. You deserve as much support as possible. Good luck!
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If I feel unhappy, I try to talk to, instant message, phone or text a close friend. Even if I don't tell them I'm unhappy, I always feel better by doing this.
If you find it hard to contact friends, try saying hello to the people you meet during your day, or even striking a friendship with someone online if it's hard to get out (just be cautious about who you trust when doing this). If possible, look for communities (on and offline) of people in similar situations – people with family away in Iraq, people feeling depressed and so on.
I wish you the best of luck.
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BEEN THERE!!! My husband was in Iraq for 9 months. I have 3 kids at home with me and had just moved back home after he left. I didnt have the military community helping me but I assume you are still in the military town. Please remember that your kids need you and your husband certainly needs you. He needs you to stay strong until he gets back. Your kids need you to be positive at ALL times. My kids saw me cry many times, however, they saw me laugh many more. You have to remember that he IS coming back. Volunteer somewhere while the kids are at school. If they arent at school, find a place that offers a "mommy's day out" several days a week and use it! Hit the gym. When you're there you can punch a bag until you get out all of your frustration. Volunteer at your local mission feeding the homeless. Sounds unappealing, I know, but believe it or not, you WILL get alot out of it. Your life sucks. I get it. But it doesnt have to. Apply for a part-time job. Go to military functions and MEET PEOPLE! There are thousands of women out there who feel like you do. You arent alone! There are many many things you can do to get motivated. Your husband has enough to worry about over there. He doesnt need to be worrying about you and how you are. He needs to know that you are ok and the kids are ok. He needs to know that you love him and cant wait until he gets home, but in the meantime, you're FINE. Good luck! Email me if you need someone to talk to, vent to, cry to, etc. I'll be thinking about ya!
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Sometimes group therapy can help as a supplement to regular psych visits. Hearing the stories of others can be very inspiring. I'm sure there are both groups and organizations out there for people in your situation, since many wives and mothers are facing the exact same thing right now.
Just be sure that the groups are well-moderated, especially if you're dealing with a touchy subject like the current war. Some people can be pretty darn insensitive about where they stick their two cents. I've had people try to convert me to their way of thinking during poorly moderated sessions, as well as people shouting and even storming out of the room. That's probably the last thing you need right now. So pick a group, but pick wisely.
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In therapy since age three
First, we have to identify what is the cause of your depression. What is really bothering you? Then we'll know what is the next thing to do. Dealing with depression depends on so many things. But I believe, you can start with talking to somebody. Talk to your kids, play with them…try to appreciate what you have.
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When depressed it is hard to have motivation, and if you do it's usually not the kind of motivation that is normal, like nervous energy, or living your life for someone else. Yet for right now this may be all you have. It's good that you at least have you're children with you. Strive for your mental health, first of all for yourself, and then your family will reap the benefits.
Definitely continue seeing a therapist, and as mentioned before see a Dr. Try some meds, the right kind can be very helpful.
Always remember, never be to lonely, hungry, or tired. All aspects of health are important. Mental, Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual.
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you have 3 children try to distract yourself and get involved with their lives. with depression i find that there is no motivation and you have to force yourself to get and go do things.
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personal life
I am sorry you are feeling depressed I am as well, I try to take each day at a time. And I as well don't have any friends to talk to. But if your kids are in school maybe you can work or volunteer there and meet some other parents and it may keep your mind off other things. Good luck
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Well this is when you turn to God and you talk to him. Sweet heart your kids need you. You still have a life every thing just feel out of the ordinary right now. Just deal with it,for now cuz i than been there i know how you feel. I had depression real bad. Believe or not I fought it. Only God can help you. It feel like you just wanna die or just don't belong. But u do. If you need medication go get some. But some times they just don't work for every 1.
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